Have you ever found yourself in a place where you saw others and loathed them? I find myself standing in the spotlight of a cliché. Standing in the spotlight. I could have been standing in the spot where your sweet breath settles against the honey on my lips. I was standing in the presence of my future. The future is unknown, untainted, fresh, and sweet like the first breeze through the morning window. I embraced it for a time. Why did I close the window?
The house I was in was nice, comfortable, and full of good memories. I felt the touch of something nostalgic, something in my mind that I always wanted. Potential. I chuckle at it now but I see the delusion of others’ potential, Nostalgia, and stupidity.
I was taken by the fragrance of her nostalgia, the essence of her potential. I closed the window to my future. The creaking of the window silenced the heart of my future. The screams of the wind banging against the window were loud but I could not see them. I knew they were there. I knew you, I knew your greatness, but I did not know mine.
I lay my head against the window now and I can feel my dreams pulling from my spirit, from my soul to you. Wanting you to become one with me. I watch the now I look over at the old me closing the window. I want to scream at him, but I’m realistic. This has already happened. You know that woman that all the guys talk about. ”If I had a girl like her I can do anything” That’s you. You made me want to be a better person, your very breath inspired my lungs to breathe differently. That’s probably why I still feel you. I feel you growing, without me. I am happy about that. It brings me joy that you have grown and moved on like the bloom of lilies resting in the sun. Even your struggles have the reminisce of the sun shining through them. You can do anything.
When I think of you I see the heart of God. I pray that I could excavate the presence of your footsteps. Watch the gleam of your smile against the backdrop of the forever sunrise. I pray you don’t look back at me and close the window of your future like I close the window to your heart. These tears of my heart are happy. I refuse to be jealous of the shine of your rising sun. I rather watch and let the sun caramelize the brown of my lips. I kiss my hand to you. I thank you. Because I’m no longer in the house. I’m in the field now watching your sunrise. I wait for the breeze to knock upon my brown skin, no window, no closing, no potential, Just my future. Forever in your shine.
Wow, this is so intimate and vulnerable.
Wow. I feel like I’m peeking into someone else’s love letter-that’s how intimate and poetic your words are. This was breathtaking.